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An undisclosed user is writing:
.. Where should I start??? There are so many events in my life that have made me who I am today. And it’s still evolving …
Was it the arguments between my parents when I was a little child? The divorce of my parents when I was 15, and then my mother’s unemployment, a situation she could not cope with and started a suicide attempt?
I had to learn far too early to come to terms with myself, to become independent, that to this day it is difficult for me to ask others for help. I always prefer to do things by myself. But is that always the right way? NO!
This is exactly what I gained in the year 2020. So many negative events had happened again that dragged me deeper and deeper until I suffered a panic attack – precisely at work, even though my job had nothing to do with it. After being encouraged by my dear colleague, I went to the doctor. He wrote me sick for 2 weeks and gave me a referral to a psychologist. It is usually very difficult for me to open my mind to others, but I dared to take this step. Well, the psychologist herself wasn’t very helpful, she said she wasn’t the right specialist for me … but to be honest, I’m not going to take this step again.
Not entirely ignorant of the theory of psychology, I was quite well aware of what affects me and what I can do to come to terms with that. Here is a small list of what I have implemented and what actually makes my life a little easier:
- TALK about my problems with family and good friends. When they know why I am “weird” sometimes, it is easier for them to deal with it too.
- Exposing myself to the particular situation, initially only for a few minutes and then longer and longer (for me the panic trigger was a very specific construction site noise, to explain this would go beyond the scope of this article). So learn, or practice much more, to accept this situation.
- But also to resolve some situations by simply leaving (e.g. a completely unnecessary argument)
- Avoiding people who are not good for me at all or even completely breaking off contact.
- Take a deep breath and think of something nice!
- Walks with my dogs in nature.
- Just scream really loud when I am alone.
- Turn up my favorite music loudly, sing to it and dance like crazy.
- Smile at strangers in the street.
In addition, I happened to have booked a 1-week fasting and hiking week on the Baltic Sea at the exact time of my breakdown. This one week gave me back an incredible amount of strength and was really good for me.
I’m still learning to accept things for what they are. But I am aware of what can help me and maybe my experience will also help one of you. I would wish it for me and you!